BUTTE-MONTANA: Standing before his cheering, adoring fans, soon-to-be POTUS - Barack (I'm so full of hot air) Obama, launched into a frenzied defense of his patriotic credentials.
Unfortunately, the bowl of day-old nuked chili topped off with raw onions, that he had earlier downed at Sloppy's Diner also had a mind of its own. With each shout of "I AM AMERICAN", the Senator's flatulent digestive system responded with a series of rising toots, poots and pings.
Now, it is a well-kept secret that at Obama rallies a mild soporific is vented through the air system to "engage" the Bammer's groupies complete and undivided attention.
Today's (f)artful new odor, reminiscent of a badly backed-up bowel was typically mistaken by many of the Gen X-ers in the crowd for BC Bud, managing to whip up an even greater frenzy.
Trying to figure out how best to capitalize on this (f)artificial sound bite, the Clinton camp was beaten to the punch by CNN - the Cheer-leading News Network, whose equally anal and flatulent gasbag, talking heads, [AKA "Angry-Old-White-Men-egged on by Angry-Black-Men"] defied all sense of journalistic impartiality by dropping to their arthritic knees; singing paeans of praise, hallelujahs and hosannas in calling Obama's rear-end emissions: "A breath of fresh air".
Only in America!