TheSpoof.com - TheSpoof.com writer Jesus Budda has come back from his visit with stories that hell has frozen over. A tearful JB told TheSpoof.com that he was turned back at the gates of hell and told that he would not be allowed to enter.
There have been speculations that hell was sabotaged by someone 'up there' because it was getting too many souls. Lucifer has told TheSpoof that he feels the people 'up there' have nothing to do with this, instead, this is a plot by the catholic church to make more holy water. He explains.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it
According to Satan, the Catholic church plans to freeze hell over, and then melt the ice from the very large hell, then boil it to make holy water for mass production. Because of the selfishness of the catholic church, the condemned will be denied the chance to spend the rest of eternity in scorching heat, swimming in firey lakes, etc.
Since hell froze over, the damned have been rendered homeless and have sought refuge in online satire writing sites such as TheSpoof.com. Thus the overflowing number of new member to the site.
So for now, when someone tells you to go to hell tell them the awful truth.