President Dr Robert Mugabe, embroiled in a power struggle for the leadership of his native Zimbabwe, is to be the latest African child to be adopted by Madonna, 'sources' have revealed.
Mugabe will, at 84, become by far the oldest of Madonna's many children, and will, due to his advanced age and lack of mobility, need even more care and attention than a younger child would. Madge has said this will not phase her.
Dr Mugabe, who is not really a doctor, has been widely lampooned at home for his delaying tactics in releasing the results of elections which would undoubtedly show a landslide victory in favour of his opponents, the MDC. Now, though, the US singer has has come to his aid, and is making arrangements for Mugabe to be flown to England to live there with her.
Advisors have already warned Madonna that Mugabe would want to take his favourite toys, his War Veteran Soldiers, with him on any foreign travel.
Weak-kneed British government ministers have already said in a statement on the Home Office website, that it would be difficult to prevent Dr Mugabe from entering the UK, as they don't seem to be able to stop anybody else from doing so.