Somewhere in the World--
An unidentified soldier is threatening to blow the lid off the "soldier-gate'' scandal. For those who are unaware of what's going on, US soldiers are being investigated for extreme torture and suspect activities against prisoners in Bush's "War on Terror".
Osama Notbin-Laden, said from an undisclosed cave somewhere near Afghanistan, but not in Afghanistan, "this new video is off da hook, yo. It'll really show the world how bad ass those American soldiers are. We got to show it."
Al-Kaholic, a new MTV-style Arabic network, has decided to air the video tape, tentatively entitled, "Soldiers Gone Wild."
"Well, we liked 'Boys Gone Berserk' but the Berserkers said that they don't want to be associated with sick and twisted activities such as this," A spokesperson for Notbin-Laden said from another undisclosed cave NOT in Pakistan.
The video shows the torture of various prisoners. "It looks like one big frat party to me," A student at an American university said, "well, they have more guns than we do, but not many."
Follow up titles in the series include:
- Behind The Terrorist: The Osama Bin Laden Story
- A Brand New Uday: Iraqi Prison Torture 101
- Making of the Prison Torture Band II: Guantanamo Bay
- The Fabulous Life of Saddam Hussein: Prison Edition
"The US should hang its head in shame. I thought they didn't allow gay activity in their military," Jerry Fallwell's sister's brother's hairdresser's mechanic said. "It's such a shame."
"We can't wait to show these videos,dawg" another of Notbinladen's associates said. "It will really give the world the 4-1-1 on the US. They are the infidel, after all. This'll prove it. It's whack that people had to get hurt and tortured, but, at least, this time, we didn't do it. Remember the time, me, you and Uday, used the same prison for that party. It was sick, yo."
The White House is keeping to themselves so far. A high-ranking cabinet member was heard shouting in the men's bathroom, "No one can find a WMD, but they find this. What the hell is the world coming to?"