Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Topics: George W. Bush, NATO

Thursday, 3 April 2008

image for NATO Humiliates George Bush, Then Watches Audrina Patridge Porno Shots
Afghan smack kept NATO officials stoned

BUCHAREST (FMLiveWire) -- President Bush suffered a humiliating setback on Wednesday as NATO allies gave him the finger over his plea to make Ukraine and Georgia members in the Western military alliance.

It was another dismal outcome for Bush at his final NATO summit as he sought to polish his wretched warmongering foreign policy legacy.

"I thought I had those NATO monkeys eating out of my hand," sniffled Bush in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire. "NATO is following my orders by destroying Afghanistan so why the hell won't those poodles roll over on this one?"

The decision was cheered by Moscow which opposes NATO's eastward expansion into its former republics.

NATO was split by opposition among European allies, with France and Germany deciding not to suck up to the USA.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel would not even OK plans for an anti-missile, anti-Russia missile shield in Europe.

The NATO summit didn't even express confidence in its mission in Afghanistan.

"NATO thugs are busy bombing the hell out of Afghanistan to make that Bush-monkey happy and to help grab oil in Central Asia and pressure Russia," one NATO official confidentially snorted. "Jesus this Afghan smack is good stuff!"

NATO has about 47,000 troops in Afghanistan, but gutless commanders particularly from Canada are begging for more troops in the south, where Taliban insurgents are winning the war. The US has about 14,000 troops for NATO there, plus another 13,000 stomping the Afghans in eastern Afghanistan.

Bush said Russia should not fear NATO, but rather should welcome the alliance because it "is a group of nations dedicated to warmongering and propping up the dying US empire by whatever means and buying our crappy overpriced weapons with sinking US dollars."

Special NATO guest Ron Paul then spoke, saying, "I rise in opposition to the further expansion of NATO to the borders of Russia. NATO is an organization whose purpose ended with the end of its Warsaw Pact adversary. When NATO struggled to define its future after the Cold War, it settled on attacking an innocent sovereign state, Yugoslavia, which had neither invaded nor threatened any NATO member state."

"This current round of NATO expansion is a political reward to governments in Georgia and Ukraine that came to power as a result of US-supported revolutions, the so-called Orange Revolution and Rose Revolution," Paul continued. "The governments that arose from these street protests were eager to please their US sponsor and the US, in turn, turned a blind eye to the numerous political and human rights abuses that took place under the new regimes. Thus the US policy of "exporting democracy" has only succeeding in exporting more misery to the countries it has targeted."

Paul said, "NATO expansion only benefits the US military industrial complex, which stands to profit from expanded arms sales to new NATO members. The "modernization" of former Soviet militaries in Ukraine and Georgia will mean tens of millions in sales to US and European military contractors. The US taxpayer will be left holding the bill, as the US government will subsidize most of the transactions."

As NATO officials fell asleep, Paul shouted, "Providing US military guarantees to Ukraine and Georgia can only further strain our military. This NATO expansion may well involve the US military in conflicts as unrelated to our national interest as the breakaway regions of South Ossetia and Abkhazia in Georgia. The idea that American troops might be forced to fight and die to prevent a small section of Georgia from seceding is absurd and disturbing."

"NATO should thus be disbanded, not expanded," Paul concluded.

NATO chief Jaap de Hoop Scheffer then showed a bunch of porno shots featuring Audrina Patridge to wake up NATO officials after Paul left.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

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