Written by Mark Lowton
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Wednesday, 2 April 2008

image for Mugabe Has His Own Press Conference; Announces Win
An unknown former Zimbabwean farmer claims he actually won the election.

Following MDC Party President Morgan Tsvangirai's lead, Robert Mugabe called a press conference to announce his win in the Zimbabwean elections.

"I did a count myself just a few minutes ago," said the ageing leader. "I clearly won the election, narrowly missing the need for a run-off by a scant .3% margin!"

According to the ruling Zanu-PF party, Mr Mugabe has won 50.3% of the vote to opposition leader Tsvangirai's 43.8%.

"I did a re-count just to make sure," said Mr Mugabe, "and blow me, if it didn't come out as me again!"

Mugabe's comments came just 30 minutes after Morgan Tsvangirai held a press conference to announce he had won the election.

The official result is still yet to be announced. Not that the international press seems to care. They'll report on any old rubbish it seems.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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