Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 31 March 2008

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The oldest people in Zimbabwe this morning

Zimbabwe Presidential and Legislative election results show an overwheliming victory for the opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) over the former President, dictator, and head of the Zanu-PF party, Dr Robert Mugabe.

Dr Mugabe's supporters last night acknowledged that voting 'had not gone their way', and said that their leader would accept the defeat gratiously and in good faith, and step down from office as soon as his busy timetable would permit.

Information Minister Sikhanyiso Ndlovu spoke to journalists to confirm the MDC victory, and said that Dr Mugabe had been informed of his gigantic loss. Fears over vote-rigging proved groundless as the MDC swept the board with over 91% of the national vote.

Speaking on Radio Africa this morning, Dr Mugabe sounded resigned, and told listeners:

"It's time for a change. Zimbabwe has spoken and I shall do its bidding."

Asked by presenter Shadrach Deadsoon, if he had any regrets about the way he had reduced Zimbabwe to a country where people live to an average age of 37 in ramshackle huts, with an inflation rate of 100,000%, Dr Mugabe replied:

"There have been some 'homelessness problems', and the price of bread is high, but I think there has been a lot of bad press over what has been happening in Zimbabwe. I just want to take this opportunity to congratulate the MDC and wish them the best of luck for the future."

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