Written by Dan Bristol
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Topics: Iraq, White House

Sunday, 2 May 2004

image for Godzilla to Stomp Iraqis Flat
Godzilla: Can He Restore Order In Iraq?

Fallujah, Iraq - In an attempt to restore order to an embattled and war-torn Iraq, President Bush announced today that the United States will be sending Godzilla to restore order and, according to one White House official, "to stomp the crap out of everything in sight."

The 300-foot tall monster, formerly the exclusive property and problem of Japan, was approached by the Joint Chiefs of Staff with the intentions of recruiting him into the war effort against Iraqi insurgents. After eating the Joint Chiefs, Godzilla signed the contract he was offered.

At first, according to one source, the US Military was concerned about the logistics of transporting a 300-foot tall lizard to Iraq, until it was pointed out that he's Godzilla and he can swim really, really far.

Upon his arrival in Iraq, Godzilla is expected to completely flatten all targets that may be harboring terrorists. The giant monster will then set fire to several hundred Iraqis with his flame-shooting breath.

In an exclusive statement given to Spoof reporters, Godzilla said, "RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRR".
He then ate them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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