Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Jesus, God, Money, Lottery

Sunday, 6 April 2008

image for Jesus' Best Friend Wins Lottery
Kevin had even picked out a fancy sports car with his winnings

One of the best friends of Divine entity Jesus Christ has scooped $750,000 on a lottery game. Kevin Smyth 30, said his win was a bit of luck and a little bit of 'divine intervention'.

Lottery bosses are investigating whether Jesus had a hand in Kevin's 'luck'.

"It wouldn't be the first time", said Sue Mee, a lawyer representing the lottery company, "friends of Jesus Christ have mysteriously come in to good fortune a number of times in the past. Remember that wedding feat at Cena? Or what about the loaves and the fish's thing on that hillside a few years back? It was all over the newspapers".

The most 'suspicious' incident involved the bringing back from the dead of Jesus' old drinking pal Lazarus.

"My son would never involve himself in any illicit activity", said a dishevelled-looking God this morning.

But the Lottery feel they have a case and are withholding Kevin's winnings until a judge decides what to do next.

"I'm devastated", said a disappointed Kevin, "myself and the big J had plans to open up a niteclub. Had the name decided on and all: The Temple. Jesus said he could build it in 3 days."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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