Written by Jean Le Fete
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Saturday, 26 April 2008

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Tibetan Terrorists?

Tibet - Today Chinese Officials, seeking to understand why they can't seem to get a handle on why Tibetans resent their heavy handed governing, accused said Tibetans of forcing them to get "tough".

After days of peaceful marches where the Tibetans avoided conflict, Chinese police brought out riot gear and rubber bullets to shoot at the safrin robed terrorists. The Tibetans were at first stunned, but then began fighting back.

"I don't know why we didn't think of it before," said a police officer on condition of anonymity, (Lee Dan Wiu), "We had no idea they would defend theirselves."

Now more than two months into the conflict, Beijing officials have a full scale international scandal on their hands as the Torch Procession meets with protest after protest. Yet their official line has not changed much.

"The Dalai Lama wears orange robes, which are totally inappropriate for the work farm we have in mind for him," said one official in a press release, "We would have to insist on a wardrobe change. This is why we are asking his Envoy to Beijing for tea. That and to see the new Chinese musical production "Hello Dalai", which expresses our sincere paranoia about him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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