A boy with a zit large enough to be considered an environmental threat to others has had the pus-filled tumour removed, authorities in India said today.
Raj "Two Head" Hoholi, of little note, is a 16 year old boy from Bombay who had possessed perhaps the world's biggest facial pustule until it was lanced today. Authorities recommended the removal of Hoholi's enormous, gargantuan, super-sized pocket of pus due to safety concerns. There were fears that the zit might spontaneously erupt and shoot a geyser of whitish pus with the consistency of toothpaste at passersby, causing injury.
Hoholi's monkey was removed from his shoulder shortly before a firecracker was placed on the unwieldy zit. The firecracker's fuse was lit and emergency workers fell back quickly. After a few seconds, the firecracker exploded. Hoholi, whose zit shielded him from experiencing any pain, stood silently for a few moments as it became clear to the authorities that the zit had not been breached.
Authorities were expecting a second attempt when Hoholi suddenly found the entire situation so amusing he smiled; he was starting to laugh when the zit suddenly exploded, showering dozens of people 30 meters away with whitish ooze.
A fun time was had by all. Hoholi's new facial crater will be filled in with a putty compound and he is expected to resume his normal Indian short-penis life with no long-term ill effects.
Author's note: I cannot help wondering why men from India have such small penises but such large facial protuberances. Perhaps an author of lesser note will research the subject some day.