Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Topics: Drugs, Ireland

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

image for Irish aid worker held on drug charges in Indonesia.
Sister of Mercy Marion O'Hara.

Ireland and Indonesia are this evening embroiled in a war of words amidst a tense diplomatic stand off after an Irish charity worker was arrested on suspicion of drug trafficking at Bali international airport in the early hours of yesterday morning.

Irish diplomats are working round the clock in a desperate attempt to secure the aid workers release and are insisting that Sister Marion O'Hara's arrest was either a simple case of a misunderstood question and a misinterpreted response or an act of madness.

The Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono responded this evening during a concert in aid of hearing impaired civil service interpreters in Jakarta's Anglican cathedral by reading a police report in which the 83 year old Sister of Mercy was found to be wearing a small vial of liquid which is believed to be liquified heroin carried around her neck in the shape of a woman begging for money with a large hoola hoop on her head. Mr Yudhyono went on to say that the purity of the heroin is understood to be of the highest quality and has been sent to the lab for grading and analysis.

Irelands Prime Minister Taoiseach Bertie Ahern told RTE television this evening that the incident was in danger of making both countries a laughing stock in world affairs and that relations need not be strained any further if the Indonesian Government released Sister O'Hara immediately and without charge.

Mr Ahern was visibly angry responding to a suggestion that the 83 year old Nun had admitted to smuggling marijuana replying that no marijuana had been found on her person or in her luggage and that the Sister had merely replied honestly and innocently to what she had believed to be a request for her name which is Marion O'Hara.

Jakartas military has been ordered on the streets this evening as large crowds of angry nuns gather on street corners and in bars across the city their numbers constantly being reinforced by a fleet Vatican transport planes flying in nuns from as far away as South America, Africa and Ballinalee County Longford. A division of Norwegian Norse nurse nuns has been assembled in Rome ready to fly out at the first sign from God.

High level diplomatic talks are continuing this evening at Willie O'Dea's beachfront bar and grill in Garlic Lane Kutah/Legian.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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