London - (Chrysanthemum Puppet Throne Mess): In a surprise legal move the CIA was finally successfully subpoenaed in the Bahraini Royal Princeling v Michael Jackson lawsuit in London today.
The Agency's UK Bureau Chief Dave Ratarse-Eaglebugger produced documents admitting that Beatle John Lennon's widow Yoko Ono is a half sister to His Imperial Majesty the Japanese Emperor Aki-Shit-Ho, eldest son of World War II Emperor Shiwa Hero-Shit-Ho and Empress Ho-Gun Nagako.
Testifying before Lord Justice Butler-Sloshed in Court No 666 CIA chief Ratarse-Eaglebugger submitted official Agency files showing how Ono had been fathered by His Imperial Japanese Majesty the Nazi-colluder.
These files depict Ono as a former KGB/Mossad operative who was mated with Sordid Arabia's Prince Bandar and subsequently spawned the lurid issue known as US tribute artiste Michael Jackson.
The court has been hearing evidence that Jackson owes a Bahraini royal figurine some $7 million in hospitality debts.
Jackson has pleaded being skint.
But wily Bahraini attorneys claim he is still being drip-fed by his Poppa Bandar, himself the recipient of a massive slush fund of £1.2 billion of UK taxpayers' money, the subject of an official fraud probe into corruption at government arms-dealer BAE Systems.
Jackson's claims to the ownership of the Beatles Song Book - in partnership with Japanese mobster outfit the Sony Corporation - were also laid bare before the judge who was told that the successful child molester litigant's legal entitlement was null and void.
"We blame the Japs, M'Lud," Ratarse-Eaglebugger told the judge.
"Jackson and the Sony Corp have been their stealth weapon of choice in a grim retribution attempt for Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
"Yoko Ono should be behind bars."