Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Tuesday, 11 March 2008

image for Wacky wiccan chokes Potter's chicken
Rest in pieces Paxo.

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is in mourning this evening after a crazed and delusional stalker broke into his London home and strangled his pet chicken 'Paxo'.

Radcliffe is being comforted by distant family and close friends at an undisclosed location and is rumoured to be in foul humour following the tragic event.

"Daniel loved that chicken" Emma Watson who stars as 'Hemmaroid Grinder' in the smash hit films confirmed this evening. "Personally I hated it, I loathed visiting Daniel at home, filth and excrement everywhere you stepped.

"The chicken was just as bad."

'Paxo' was presented to Daniel at the end of shoot party when filming of the 'Order of the Phoenix' was finally wrapped up, Daniel had begged author J.K.Rowling for a 'Phoenix' of his own during filming but it is understood that Rowling had grave concerns about giving the young actor any breed of wild fowl after videos of Radcliffe setting pigeons ablaze with lighter fuel surfaced on the internet midway through filming.

Police have arrested a woman in connection with the incident after receiving an emergency 999 call from Harrods security staff.Eyewitnesses had reported seeing a thing on a broom hopping wildly around the rooftops.

The woman in question was taken into custody by a crack team of RSPCA Officers after she had threatened to leap from the roof of the famous London store straddling a broomstick in full witches regalia and her face partially obscured with blood and feathers.

No motive has been established at this time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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