Caribbean - (Shambolic Mess): International drug barons like Prince Charles are operating with rampant impunity the UN warned today amid reports the Puppet Monarchy's heir-of-the-dog-apparent is to rendezvous with the first of five Russian-built Bogota mini-subs in the Caribbean later this week.
The UN's annual report into the International Non-Aligned Crack Barons Association says that a policy of appeasement has allowed the fetid KGB/Mossad tosser to run riot and accumulate a staggering £250 million cash pile from his so-called fair trade organic exploits.
New smuggling routes such as special Department of Homeland Insecurity clearance for in-transit Clarence House baggage has eased the way considerably for Charles' operations.
The use of drug mules like Camilla and Kate Middleton has also made a considerable difference to his cash-flow position.
"And all those Highgrove Estate poly tunnels - you really think he's hybridising a new generation of Costoluto Guernsey tomatoes?" the report asks.
"It's all a hydroponics experiment for indigenous cultivation of coca bushes," the report warns, "cunningly dressed up as Duchy Originals winter brassicas."