Dallas, Texarse - (Backhander Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair will be address a fully paid-up audience at the Southern Comfort Methodist University on Wednesday following the recent announcement it has been chosen as the official last resting place and school book depository for the George W Bush Presidential Center and Library.
Blair will also receive the facility's Medal of Thiefdom for his slavish stand-up lapdog routine during the 2001-2007 years in orifice.
An advance preview of the award citation confirms the role he played in promoting George W Bush as a man of sanity, probity and no previous criminal convictions.
Blair is lauded as a 'value-added Global Piss Process emissary' who followed Pentagon instructions to the letter.
'His Enronesque macro-economics techniques transformed Britain's assets into Halliburton-style fiefdoms' the citation continues, 'and a program of rewarding Cash-for-Honors stooges reset the bar in public service philanthropy not seen since the Great Depression of the Thirties.'
Blair will receive a bronze medal at the Wednesday night dinner which will be followed by the acceptance speech to 25,000 specially bussed-in paying guests who have each coughed up a tax-deductible $100 for the privilege.
An update will follow this report.