Cucarrachas, Venezuela (IPP) - World leaders attending a United Nation Security Council meeting announced over the UN's PA system that Chairman Mao Tse-tung and Venezuela President Hugo Chavez had never been seen in the same room at the same time.
The UN announcer went on to explain that Chairman Mao Tse-tung had a Chinese balm applied all over his body which had made him young again. During the process he was metamorphosized into the President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez.
Hugito, as is friends and family like to call him, is a more compassionate type of Marxist and the fact is that he really has no choice as he does not have very big military gear available to him nor many military personnel to call upon.
Hugito was recently seen at the Walmart in Murphy, North Carolina and then the next day at the Army & Navy store in Pahokee, Florida buying things like walkie talkies, duct tape, and other outdorsy types of items for his military units. Other reports say that he is building a giant wooden animal that will sneak into Columbia with his military units hidden inside.
Chavez's personal physician said that the press should leave him alone as he has some issues that he has to deal with. The fact that he is very short, standing barely 4 feet 7 inches has given the President an inferiority complex as has his relationship with the senoritas.
When Hugo Chavez was recently interviewed he told reporters that he was glad that the people of the world had finally noticed him. He shocked reporters during the interview by suddenly laughing madly one moment and the next moment crying, "HEY, DON'T LOOK AT ME! EVERYBODY STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!" He ran off behind the stage and argued with himself for a while. The security forces asked reporters to leave and the reporter's expulsion has since made gathering accurate information about the President very difficult.