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Topics: Space, Mexico, Astronaut

Sunday, 2 March 2008

image for Mexico Lands Astronauts on Mars
"Juan leetle estep para hombre..."

Mexico City, Mexico (IPP) - The Mexican Aeronautics and Space Administration (MASA) has successfully landed three manned and three unmanned spacecraft on the planet Mars.

Each manned craft was supposed to have carried three astronauts but it is reported that there were thirty or forty Mexicans in each craft.

The astronauts quickly set up laboratories, a green house, a chemical plant, and a taco stand in the small crater that they landed in. The crater is 2,200 KM from the Martian volcano Olympus Mons.

The Mexican astronauts had some difficulty exiting the landing craft due to their custom of wearing large sombreros on top of their space suit helmets. The sombreros they wear are the fancy ones with the dingle balls that hang down around the outer periphery of the large hats. The sombreros help keep the sunlight from blinding the astronauts.

The three unmanned spacecraft are spares designed to ensure that those astronauts who wish to return to Earth can do so in the event that one of the other space crafts are unable to achieve lifftoff from the Martian surface.

The first astronaut to step onto the Martian surface maintained tradition by saying, "Wuang leetle estep for an hombre and wuang giganteec leeep for mengkine". He then set up the Mexican flag and the astronauts all passed around a bottle of tequila which they drank down and then they drank a few more bottles. They then pulled out some six shooters and shot at each other's feet while doing the Mexican hat dance. It was all in good fun and no one got hurt.

On their second day they celebrated one of the astronaut's birthday and they used clubs to break some pinatas and played pin the tail on the donkey. At this time it was discovered that thirty overweight Mexican ladies had stowed away aboard the various space crafts and soon a full blown party was underway complete with a mariachi band sing and playing songs like: Aye Aye Ya Yye, Cantares Y No Yorres, La Cucarrracha, Cielito Lindo, and Pink Floyd's, "We Dong Need No Education" which they sang in perfect English but probably had no clue what the words meant.

One young astronaut insisted on playing a tape of the countdown and launch of the Mexican space vehicles from Earth and it went like this, "We has auto eegneetion sequence estart, Feeefteeeng, Foreteeng, ... "Teng, Niaeeng, Ocho, Seveng, Seeex, Cinco, Fore, Threee, Tooo, Wuang, Zeeero, eegneetiong, ang we have leeeftoff. The crafts hoss cleeered thee tawers...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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