Baghdad -- A Web site posted a statement Monday attributed to Osama bin Laden associate Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, claiming responsibility for deadly weekend suicide attacks on two oil terminals in southern Iraq. The website also has connections to some of the hottest lesbo-action sites on the internet for only $19.95 per month and excepts most major credit cards.
Three boats in the ancient harbor city of Basra exploded the other night. No lesbians were involved.
The statement compared the attacks to the 2000 bombing of the American destroyer USS Cole in Yemen. The statement also contained several references to Yolanda, the hottest babe featured on www.hotlesboterrorists.com. Yolanda likes it when her girlfriend Stacy does "that thing" to her, sources said. Neither lesbian was involved on the attack on the USS Cole.
The Web site posting about al-Zarqawi also said Saturday's attack off Basra was meant "to hit the economies of the nations of atheism, which came to raise the crusaders' flag in the Muslim land." There were also several updated photos from Dominique's latest S&M Webcam Party, where she teaches a badly-needed lesson in obedience to her naughty subbie, Laura.
The statement threatens more attacks by land, sea and air "until victory or defeat, or until you sign up today for the hottest lesbian action on the Web!"
There was no way to independently verify the statement's authenticity.
Al-Zarqawi has claimed credit for a score of attacks on coalition forces, including the August 19 bombing of U.N. headquarters in Baghdad that killed 23 civilians, one of whom was the U.N.'s chief envoy to Iraq, Sergio Vieira de Mello. Al-Zarqawi also has this buddy with a website where you can see pictures of this chick taking a . . .
. . . sorry. *ahem*
Targets al-Zarqawi claimed responsibility for attacking include "the coalition forces in Karbala, the Italians in Nasiriya, the American forces in the Al-Khaldiya Bridge, the American intelligence in the Al-Shahine Hotel, the CPA in Baghdad, the CIA in the Al-Rashid Hotel, and the Polish military in Al-Hilla." Al-Zarqawi has also claimed responsibility for the hot content over at www.slapmesilly.com, where you can watch hot young college chicks getting the discipline they so badly need.
Earlier this month, an audio tape claiming to be of al-Zarqawi was published on a Web site. The tape claimed responsibility for the attacks and Middle Eastern intelligence sources familiar with al-Zarqawi said that the tape was "100 percent genuine, and even the part with the donkey."
Al-Zarqawi, an associate of Osama bin Laden, had been named by the Bush administration as an al Qaeda member who fled to Iraq from Afghanistan in May 2002 for medical treatment and then stayed to organize terror plots. He came to Iraq with about two dozen al Qaeda terrorists, according to the administration. Washington sources described Al-Zarqawi's website as "Freakin' hot, man! You should see the hooters on this one chick!"
Before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, President Bush, Secretary of State Colin Powell and other administration officials had reviewed the website. President Bush is said to have achieved an instant woody.