Written by shea lo
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Topics: Barack Obama

Thursday, 28 February 2008

image for Why is Obama invincible? Dope-smoking 'Rent-a-Fainters' at Obama rallies contributing to his rise in polls!

ON-THE-STUMPS, USA: Senator Obama's rallies complete with his preacher-like rhetoric, oratorical flourishes and fainting damsels have become the talk of the circuit. In fact, many have commented that the sweet scent in the air at these rallies is much like a 70's Boz Scaggs concert.

In the manner of a televangelist preacher "healing" the sick, Obama has taken to delivering play-by-play comments as his hysterical groupies are resuscitated by stand-by medics.

No sooner does he open his mouth when the swooning begins. Lips tremble, eyes flutter in the back of the head, knees buckle and a limp body slowly crumples to the ground. As if on cue the Obameister immediately kicks into action.

"We have a fayn-ter hee-ah", he says, in cadences reminiscent of Martin Luther King.

"Is there a doctor here. Come on, give her some air. Can she stand? Yess, she's moving, she's going to be okey-doke. Praise The Lord".

Strangely, the Chicago Senator's accent has become more and more Southern as the race goes on. Subliminal messaging going on here say his New Gen staffers - 2008's answer to the anti-establishment movement of the 60s.

Fainting groupies have helped Obama rise to dizzying heights in the polls, so much so that his campaign is holding Rent-A-Fainter auditions in advance of his rallies.

Qualifications: must be a dope smoker, preferably anorexic with numerous 'issues', seeking approval and unconditional love, must have a 'herd' mentality and be utterly open to suggestion.

Obama's manager Dodo Puff said: Hey dude, Chill baby. We had a Prez who was a sex-maniac followed by a recovering alcoholic and coke snorter now it's time for a weed-toker. Besides, Hillary's campaign is run by a bunch of wonky old political hens.

Boooring! Who wants their mother running the country? Her place is in the kitchen - We are here, we are now and man is the weed good! [Cough-cough]"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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