Ask Bill Clinton what the highlight of his Presidency was and he'll tell you it was sucking on a big fat cigar after a great political success and getting regular BJs from a chubby "Biblical" intern, Monica Lewinsky, sucking on Bill's own cigar.
At one time in private, said Bubba, "Ya know, that story of the Hebrew ladies having no sex drive is an outright lie. Ms. Lewinsky is like a typical Arkansas date. I mean a guy with a 14-year old piece of tail at the county fair where they're both on the unlit grass on the side and the guy's gulpin' for breathin' air, as she rides him like a stallion she's breakin.' Ms. Lewinsky sure changed my mind. But, boy was Hillary pissed when I tried to teach her how to do it. Too much teeth, I kept tellin' her! Too much teeth! She never did get the hang of it."
Catching up with Ms. Lewinsky, she is strutting and spouting certainty of an Obama Presidency. She's readying her mouth for some possibly "big stuff." She knows the story of the humongous African-American shlong and she looks forward to getting around Michelle, Obama's wife, and giving the new Pres some good head. But a bit puzzled, she clearly noted that, "He's really only half black, so it may not be so big after all. Trust me...he already knows what I want, and Michelle is clueless!"
Ms. Lewinsky, an erstwhile "entrepreneur," is craving that Obama half and half cigar, saying she wants history to, at least, know her as "The Blowjob Queen To The Presidents." At age 34, she realizes there are, at least, 4 more Commanders in Chief to go through in her lifetime and she wants a taste of them all. "Once a couple of head honchos know my abilities and that I, also, swallow, they'll all want me, no matter how old I am. Look, they all screw around, one way or another. And, Bill says, this isn't even sex! I hope there's a Mexican-American and Asiatic-American in office one day. I'd like to know the difference. You know, one time, Tony Blair was visiting the White House and Bill asked me very politely to give Tony a freebee...you know...as a gift. Wow, what a gusher! But, no way when Arafat was there. I do have standards, you know."
Ms. Lewinsky apparently doesn't regret the bad publicity and causing problems for her "Billie Boy," as she sometimes refers to him. "Hey, you only go around once and I'm doing this for me and giving all my J-girlfriends some class recognition. We do screw before marriage you know and nobody has to beg us to get into the sack."
Asked what she would do if a woman were President, she said she would "go for the Veep if a man, but if both Pres and Veep are women, then I'll find a good, new use for my tongue!"