Bruseels, Belgium - (Bad Ass Mess): A covert police fraud probe into Members of the EU Parliament's employment of fictitious staff and relatives has uncovered a £100 million expenses scam that has lined the coffers of Opus Dei.
"This is the tip of the iceberg," Interpol top brass sources said today after the initial findings of a three year corruption investigation showed the EU expenses gravy train's biggest beneficiaries to be paid-up members of the Vatican's private self-flagellation club.
"Their supposed daily flesh-mortification activities are a faux-pious lip-service to their god-of-choice, Mammon," the Interpol source continued.
"We've uncovered thousands of these Opus Dei racketeers whose sole sources of income have been whopping great big handouts in the form of MEPs' research expenses, orifice services and other corrupt disbursements."
"This makes Tory graft specialists like Derek Conway look like rank amateurs," a House of Commons source added after details of the £100 million annual EU scam were leaked to Whitehall mandarins.
The three year police investigation will now be extended to 1997 and cross-referenced to the Labour Party's slime into orifice under the leaqdership of Tony Blair.
"No wonder he went over to the Papists," a UK Serious and Disorganised Crime Agency official said today.
"Always said we'd nail the little f###er!"