Written by cheesehoven

Print this

Thursday, 21 February 2008

image for 'Scare quotes' 'no longer scary'
A typical youth - bothered?

'Scare quotes' are no longer frightening 'enough people', according to 'experts'. The 'shock findings' by Tokyo's 'prestigious' Institute for Fear Research (IFR) is sure to spark 'moral panic' especially among the 'Muslims', 'homosexuals' and other 'minority communities'.

Moral panic

Professor Michael Wu, chair of the so-called 'fear committee' says that in these days of 'internet pornography', 'paedophile rings' and 'date rape drugs', 'stronger methods' are needed to get a point across.

Wu ponders: "It's difficult to reach the 'youtube generation'. How do you 'demonise' others with 'shopworn' terms like 'hoodies', 'immigrants' and 'single-parent mums' when that refers to most of their 'friends'?"

Wu suggests incorporating 'lessons learned' from 'drink drive' campaigns in order to 'shock the young' out of 'teenage apathy'.

"We need to hit them 'hard and fast', with a 'shock and awe' campaign based on 'modern technology'."

This campaign should be 'highly targeted' and 'very specific to the needs of its audience', but Wu is 'curiously vague' as to how 'such a feat' can be 'actualised'.

Political Correctness

There is also a 'strange reluctance' among Editors to blame anyone, and Dr Wu blames 'political correctness'.

"There was a time when 'quality' newspapers would think nothing of naming 'communist spies' and 'nazi sympathisers' in 'vulgar' headlines, but this is no longer the case. Editors are now mindful of 'cultural sensitivities'."

This 'worrying decline' in 'blame culture' is a 'cause for concern' he suggests.

Make cheesehoven's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

5 19 21 1
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top