Written by Karl Rural
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Wednesday, 20 February 2008

image for No Oscar promises, Viggo changes career

Oscar nominee Viggo Mortensen has recently announced he is considering a career change, since he is at an age when it's time for a man to dress up in silk robes and join daddy Hefner in the pimp club.

All actresses he has ever been in a movie with, including some male co-stars as well (amongst which we were able to recognize Kiwi actor Karl Urban and British sex-icon Sean Bean) have volunteered to work for the debutant pimp. Naomi Watts, who starred alongside Viggo in Eastern Promises, said to the press: "We are more than happy to work pro bono. Well, actually I work pro boner, and Viggo doesn't mind, but he's not a greedy man. All of his hookers' earnings go to charity."

When asked why the sudden career move, Hollywood's finest piece of Danish White said: "The people you meet are nice and I can't complain about the clothes either. I felt the need for a change to a domain where Johnny Depp and Daniel-Day Lewis are unlikely to enroll and compete."

It's a good thing Viggo chose pimpship and did not join the mafia instead. Those guys are a grim lot, and they also promote ugly body art!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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