Tel Aviv, Israel - (Tectonic Mess): Fundamentalist Virginia Beach TV preacher and protein-defying ageing pancake salesman, the Reverend Pat Robertson, is cock-a-hoop today following the news that Israeli MP Shlomo Benizri has blamed gays for a series of earth tremors that have rocked the Holy Land recently.
Robertson, a noted expert on Biblical Sodomy & Gomorrah, famously slagged off Israeli Prime Monster Ariel Sharon in January 2006 saying he had been struck down by God with a severe stroke in an act of retribution for giving away too much land to the Palestinians.
Sharon's government successfully upheld a 1988 Knesset law decriminalising homosexuality and promoted the proliferation of gay rights.
Robertson also attributed ex-Israeli PM Yitzhak Rabin's 1995 assassination to the Lord's punishment for godlessness.
"Another Holy Land shirt-lifting idolator, felled by the wrath of the Almighty," was Robertson's considered eulogy following Rabin's death.
The Holy Land has been shaken by six earthquakes in the last four months.
Benizri's avowal of Biblical lore affirms Jehovah's punishment of the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah where seismic catastrophe was wrought on the immorality of the locals.
At the Knesset today where Benizri made his remarks a number of liberal MPs were quick to retalliate with cries of "Jehovah's no homophobe!" and "Jehovah's no anti-semite, you dickhead."
And in his Virginia Beach hideaway Rev Pat Robertson beamed with pride as yet another personal revelation from the Lord reaffirmed his special relationship with the Almighty.
Pastor Ted Haggard is cured.