Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

image for Vatican was behind assassination of Kennedys new NATO files claim
A typical Vatican ritual sacrifice

Vatican Shitty - (Bad Ass Mess): Forget forty years of official CIA disinformation: according to newly released NATO military intelligence files it was the Vatican all along that was behind the assassination of President John F Kennedy and his brother Robert.

"Protecting Hitler's Pope Pius XII and his surviving progeny was the Vatican's top cold war priority," General V Moody said today.

Having secured the gullibility of the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'n' Bones with a concerted schmoozefest of First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy Vatican agents secured a deal with LBJ and the CIA to hide the murders of GOP rabid drunkards George Herbert Bush and his firstborn George Walker Bush.

Pius XII's two elder sons were then implanted into the US to take up the ID of the dead Bushes who had been summarily despatched by New York mobsters originally in the pay of Joseph Kennedy Sr.

"LBJ did what he was told," Moody explained.

"The Papal uterine brothers bore such a close physical resemblance to the Bush father/son combo it was considered almost lunatic not to engage in the deception scam," Gen Moody added.

The elder - Frank Geli - was spawned by Pius XII's earlier mating with a British spy working for Stalin called Violet Freeman.

When the Luftwaffe bombed Buckingham Palace in 1940 King George VI, his wife Elizabeth and elder daughter also called Elizabeth were all killed, prompting a massive panic in the wartime coalition government.

Freeman bore an extraordinary resemblance to the dead queen and was hastily implanted to enact her ID and persona while other actors took on the roles of the other deceased.

Meanwhile a daughter spawned by Adolf Hitler and treasonous socialite Unity Mitford was quickly mated with Pius XII, producing a son - John Geli - whose subsequent claim to fame was his undeniable resemblance to the drunken young George W Bush.

This doppelganger was the hired hand who shot JFK in November 1963 and hired Jack Ruby to destroy and plea bargains by Lee Harvey Oswald.

The Kennedy brothers were on the point of arresting the Geli scumbags when fans of Pius XII's proposed beatification got the nod that drastic action was needed.

Tony Blair is the younger Bush doppelganger's other half brother, spawned by a mating with UK traitor Anthony Blunt (sic).

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

1 23 12 11
150 readers are online right now!

Go to top