Written by Karl Rural
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Topics: Sean Bean

Saturday, 16 February 2008

image for Sean Bean beaten by old gay hairdresser
"I hates that See-an Bee-an!"

Default movie bad guy Sean Bean was spotted shopping near Belsize Park and looking cautiously around, sporting a huge bump on the head, so huge not even professional movie make-up could conceal it.

Bean, the 4th most killed on screen actor, was ambushed by an elderly man with impeccable hairstyle, who was walking a small dog when Bean passed him by. Recognizing the Brit, the retired hairdresser flung his large handbag at the actor, scoring a direct hit on Bean's head.

As he received the punitive handbag blows, Bean remembers hearing the senior Londoner accusing him of ill treatments and lack of respect to all women. Words like "arsehole", "heart pirate" and "Blue Beard" were uttered during the altercation, all of them addressed to the actor.

In the end, he escaped just as the retired hairdresser stopped to adjust a randy lock of hair and to grab a better hold of his effective handbag, thus giving Boromir a chance to save himself.

Bean went straight to the constable in charge of his area and reported the incident, but he was not believed and was sent off with the indication to drink responsibly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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