Kigali - (Bestiality Mess): Thousands of endangered, rare-species gorillas have mutinied in their reservations ahead of George W Bush's flying visit this weekend prompted by presidential baby ape-cuddling photo-op fears.
"It was bad enough when Paris Hilton attempted this gimmick," Kigali's head of Culture and Voyeurism said today, "but at least we had enough Largactil stun guns back then to deal with the horrorshow. This time it's way worse."
According to a World Wildlife Fund source , they're ransacking government orifices, exposing themselves to public officials, harrassing elephants into acts of gross bestiality with rhinos and causing havoc in the country's monetary system.
And all because the stench of Scareforce One is already on the wing.
"The gorrila bush-radio has gone ape-shit," Rwanda tv news reported today, "so we're hoping the US President might be persuaded to spread some of his legendary goodwill in neighboring Kenya or Zimbabwe where conditions favor a warm reception."