Passengers who sleep on aeroplanes run the risk of developing high blood pressure, and many other life-threatening illnesses that arise from it, says a report published today.
The report, in the Medical Bullshit magazine, claims that sleeping on long-haul flights can do the most harm, but even dozing on a domestic journey - domestic dozing - can cause complications.
The World Health Organistaion (WHO?) has backed the findings, and says that, in an effort to stop passengers falling into a deep sleep, aircraft noise should be increased to "unbearable levels".
Members of airline cabin crews, however, are 'up in arms' over the report.
Sarah Tartedup of Service & Hospitality Aboard Air Transport (SHAAT), the air hostess union, said:
"The paradox here, is that the loudest noise on most aircraft is the incessant pig-like snoring of the countless drunken bums who clamber on board after drinking the airport lounge dry."
But WHO spokesman Kenneth Doctor said:
"We need to make planes louder so people can't sleep. Never mind the residents who live near the runway. They should just move."