Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Wednesday, 13 February 2008

image for Australia apologises to indigenous people. Aborigines tell Rudd "No worries mate."
Traditional Aboriginal field drawings.

Australia's newly elected Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has apologised to the Aboriginal people for the shitty treatment that previous generation's had dished out to them.

The Prime Minister placed heavy emphasis on the word previous and even went so far as writing the word in bright red spray paint on the wall behind him impressively signed with his own tag.

"I write this word on the wall so that this generation and future generations of decent honest Australians never forget that we didn't do it!

"If my Father stole your mother's bicycle back in 1958, do you think that you should be able to sue me for the cost of my mothers replacement bike? No. The answer is no. I can say sorry me dad was a bit of a bastard but it doesn't really mean I'm responsible now does it?

"Any way here go's nothing."

"Sorry mate."

The Prime Minister then shook hands with a glassy eyed Aboriginal tribal leader who replied on behalf of the Indigenous population.

"S'ok Ruddy, don't pull your 'air out, life was probably bloody boring before Cooky arrived and gave us all smallpox and lead poisoning, without you lot we would never have known the joy of alcohol, drugs, pornography and petrol.

"Tell you what Kev, give us 1/2 a mill each and we'll say no more about it."

Mr Rudd pointed angrily at the wall behind him. "Cant you read?" he demanded.

"Nah mate, can you tell me where me sister went in 1958? They said they were taking her to the circus."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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