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Wednesday, 13 February 2008

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Cupid depressed over the fate of Venus in Londum's underground

Lady Godiva rode her stallion bare front and back without interference in ole London town but the Roman goddess of Love, just days before St Valentine's day, has been banned from London's subway.

The Guardian reports: "Wearing nothing but her best necklace, a wisp of gauze and a foxy expression, Venus has been delighting connoisseurs for almost 500 years - but she has been banned from the underworld, as London Underground has decided she is likely to offend rather than enchant the capital's weary commuters."

TheSpoof.com dispatched its best reporters to the underworld to gather comments from the gods and goddesses long banished to Hades after the rise of Western Christian religion and more recently the devout faith of atheist anti-humanism.Jupiter himself was eager to comment on, what the high god considered, an atrocity: "Iff Luv's day..eity iz na welcum in the dinnggy bowels of that Gommorah east a Sodom, Londum, I mean...well...den...fahgit..a...bout tit!"

His paramour Juno grabbed our TheSpoof.com reporter for herself dismissing her divine hubbie to return to his opium den. "That slut deserves it!", the mother of the Roman Pantheon charged. "I would keep my kiddies, friends, lovers and even my worthlessly high God husband away from a hoe like Venus. The underground is too good for that lascivious b-i-t-c-h!"

As our time in the Underworld expired, and we rose on ET McCrone's Liftevator back to surface earth all we could hear was Cupid protesting: 'Leave my mummy alone!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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