Written by Natowsky
Print this

Sunday, 10 February 2008

image for Whitey Obama Seeking 'Fully-Black' Running Mate!
You can be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal...

Barack Obama is picking up momentum in what could be a dead-or near-dead heat in the final delegate count at the Democratic Party's Convention in late August in Denver, Colorado.

Spewing unbridled optimism, the V.P spot is already getting Obama's attention. Should he become the Dem's nominee for Head Honcho, he will need his second in command, as soon as possible, and, he's looking for pure black!

Enter Al Sharpton, the ubiquitous, abrasive, and controversial Brooklyn-born, black Baptist Minister, who has recently claimed that if Obama is nominated, that "Barack, the Whitey, who even looks like one with a short crew cut, will still need, at least, a half black ticket." And, who better to do that than Baptist Reverend Al, despite his being at the center of, at least, eight major racial incidents in New York City!

Called political radical, antisemitic-racist, racial arsonist, and the black political equivalent of Richard Nixon and Pat Robertson, Sharpton claims, "I am now politically mature and astute and can 'suck in' the poor black vote for Whitey Obama. So, as I confer with my God everyday, the Obama-Sharpton ticket will get the vote of Whitey, uppity, and well-off blacks, the vanilla ice cream, while I, alone, get the chocolate ice cream vote of the poor and downtrodden blacks! Man, the new 'Dream Team,'[an obvious reference to the high-profile mouthpiece clique in the OJ Simpson felony trial of 1995] is ready to launch!"

Not to be outdone, the North Carolina born Baptist, the Reverend Jesse Jackson claims he's the better brother to hold the number two spot and beat those elephants. "Hey, Sharpton is a buffoon. I formed The Rainbow Coalition and PUSH, negotiated hostage releases, am a recognized international brotha, and am fluent in Ebonics, the language of my poor black city people. And, Sharpton don't even like chitlins!"

Obama has not hinted yet at a possible running mate should he get the nod. But, brimming with confidence, already, his short list for V.P. includes big names such as, Snoop Dog, Sharpton, Jackson, Wesley Snipes, Forest Whitaker, and Ice T, both rapper and key TV "Law and Order" featured star.

The telling remark came last week when Obama claimed to "have Whitey and the money-thick uppity blacks by the tail, while I'll need a real black, a ghetto kind of rough-cut hundred percent black to get my poor brothers to the polls, so I can walk away as Mr. President and smoke that big fat Clinton cigar! And, no way! Monica Lewinsky is definitely not part of my strategy! Besides, she smokes another brand of cigar!"

Make Natowsky's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

2 3 12 5
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more