Pope Benedict - who recently returned to the Catholic Church after earlier resigning in disgrace after the Jesus-gate scandal - has now claimed to be possessed by the demonic spirit of Glam Rock naughty boy and filthy bastard Gary Glitter.
A Vatican spokesman confirmed that the Holy Father was behaving in an 'un-natural' manner towards his altar boys and girls after becoming addicted to 1970's Glam Rock music.
"We first noticed it when il Papa started pinching the bottoms of the altar girls", said Vatican spokesman Angelo Morretti, "he normally only touches the boys ass'".
"He'd lock himself in his room and refuse to come down and say mass. He bought a wig. A big, bouffant one with a kiss curl at the front and sparkly twinkle dust scattered throughout. I hate to admit it, but it kinda suits him and covers his bald spot".
Morretti also reports that The Pope is undergoing reversion therapy for his bizarre behavior.
"We put il Papa in his room and surround him with specially trained teams of crack commando altar assistants. Then we turn the CD player at top volume. One the first beats kick in on 'I'm the Leader of the Gang (I am)', we know it's time to begin.
"The Pope stands uprights, rips off all his clothes and starts miming 'I'm the leader' I'm the leader' and makes a rush at the altar boys and girls. That's when they use the stun guns".
How is the Pope responding? We asked Moretti. "He's improving", he said, "but we've still a long way to go yet. At least he's only interested in the boys now. It's a start".