Paris - (Merde Alors! Mess): A raunchy ménage à trois porn video featuring France's first lady Carla Brunei Sarkozy and ScoGen rogue trader Jerome Kerviel "screwing the French government, the Paris Bourse and the national oil company Elf" has been seized in a raid on a Russian military attache's Paris apartment.
The dawn swoop resulted in Sirgay Vladimir Abramovich Jr being led away handcuffed while diplomatic police ransacked his Ile St Louis condominium.
French Prosecutors are now reportedly quizzing France's Mme Brunei Sarkozy about the sudden origins of her personal wealth which soared from relatively modest B-List celeb status to stratospheric Whore of Babylon-sized megabux shortly before her new husband Knickerless Teacosy became President of France.
The Russian envoy meanwhile is threatening a major diplomatic storm after reports that the Gendarmerie has also seized ten kilos of Colombian cocaine, four AK 47's, two Glocks and a personal wedding invitation to one of the Bush twins' Easter Sunday White House wedding party.
Meanwhile in London the French amabssador's private residence has mysteriously suffered a localised earth tremor after what appeared to be a mini tectonic plate shift "or underground explosion" occured under his indoor swimming pool complex.
Local residents in Kensington Palace Gardens reported seeing at least fifty to sixty "shifty-looking illegals" crawling out from a manhole near the residency's kitchens.
The foreign nationals were then seen neing hastily rounded up in a Ministry of Defence cattle truck, handcuffed and blindfolded, before a fleet of bomb disposal trucks arrived, cordoning off the area.
An update is expected later.