A man was being treated in hospital today after walking into Paddington Green Police Station, and telling officers there of a most extraordinary dream that he had experienced two nights ago.
Anthony Bliar, 54, told astonished officers that he had fallen asleep after a hard night's drinking and drug-taking in his bedroom, and dreamt that he had been admitted to Oxford University to read jurisprudence. Once there, he had attempted to become a rock star, to no avail.
After graduating, (and this is where the dream really starts to get ridiculous), he takes a job as a solicitor and meets a disfigured woman who casts a spell on him, forcing him to marry her.
He becomes an MP, and then Prime Minister, making various insane decisions, such as taking Britain to war in an unspecified Middle-eastern country because he is told to do so by the leader of another big country.
Eventually, he is forced from power by a Scotsman, and falls into a £multi-million job doing something else, though he does not know what.
The officers at Paddington Green immediately referred Bliar to trained medical staff at St Nutcase Hospital in London, where doctors say that, although they have examined the patient, they are of the opinion that he is delusional or just plain mad.
Doctor John Major, who only decided to become a doctor after being rejected for a job as a bus conductor, said:
"Whoever would believe a story so packed full of bullshit?"