Written by Simon Cockle
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Monday, 28 January 2008

image for Atomic weapon detonation fails to distract people from Facebook

A 700 megaton atomic weapon blast in which over 6 million Americans died was largely ignored by the rest of the population, figures today suggested. The blast, centered around the north-western city of Seattle, and most likely detonated by terrorists, killed almost 5 million people within 15 seconds.

However, news of the tragedy was slow to filter onto Facebook. It was mentioned, briefly, in a conversation between Tammy K and Richie V while playing Scrabulous, just before Tammy put down "DEVICE" for 24 points on a double-word square. Hospitals along the western seaboard struggled to cope with the casualties, at about the same time as Nick from Boston discovered he had a Sex IQ of 134.

George Bush has declared a state of emergency and mobilised all strategic forces in order to retaliate. Meanwhile, a new group, Save Our Shatner, campaigning against the new Star Trek movie, recruited its 17th member.

Images of the dead and dying were beamed around the world as the full horror engulfed the world. At the same time, Cheech W from Florida posted this really funny story, about Paris Hilton being a hotel and the name of a person, on his friend's FunWall.

A Homeland Security spokesman has suggested that, since the blast has affected communications on a huge scale, they might try to contact loved ones by SuperPoking them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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