Following the near-miss of the crash landed Boeing 777 at Heathrow airport two days ago, the pilot has revealed that the real hero was his co-pilot John Coward.
In honour of the fact that Coward was actually a hero the English dictionary will be changed to emphasise this fact. In future all cowards will be called heroes and all heroes will be cowards. This move will save confusion amongst people the world over who may not be clear that John Coward is, in fact, a hero.
Other changes which will take place are the renaming of popular TV series,"Cowards" and rewriting of comic books relating to Supercowards. Cadburys has raised no objections to its top selling chocolates being renamed "Cadburys Cowards."
Also happy are the Noel Hero Literary Society who have long campaigned for the change. However, Movie Director Howard Dominik has asked for special dispensation as he feels that his latest film,"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Hero Robert Ford" may suffer lost sales if advertising is changed at this late stage.
The biggest winners, however, will be the young inexperienced untrained soldiers of the world, who, having volunteered to lay down their lives for their family and countries were called cowards after being driven mad by the violence and horror. They will now be known as heroes.