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Friday, 18 January 2008

image for Britney Spears has Fanny Magnets Grafted in to Attract Papparazzi
What may happen if Tom and Britney ever meet

Crumbling former teen pop songstress Britney Spears is reported to be so concerned with the sudden lack of press coverage she is receiving that she has reportedly turned to plastic surgery to enhance her chances of being snapped.

According to a source close to the fallen popstar, Britney is used to a flotilla of photographers following her every move. The friend said today that Britney validates herself by the amount of attention she gets, often staging dramatic lunatic episodes to get more column space.

She claimed that Britney has undergone surgery to have powerful magnets inserted into her fanny, which she feels will draw any nearby cameras towards her more marketable areas.

The magnets are invisible to the naked eye and can be removed at a later date according to a top Hollywood plastic surgeon, who has performed the procedure for other top celebrities, such as Tom Cruise and Eddie Murphy. However, he warns of dramatic side effects, claiming that Tom Cruise's sofa jumping episode was entirely caused by the close proximity of a swinging magnet to Oprah Winfrey's studio.

Tom Cruise declined to comment on fanny magnets, stating through an aide that he has no experience of them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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