Written by Barry Subchimp
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Topics: Wife, Skeletor

Monday, 19 April 2004

image for Mrs Skeletor to stand by husband after Evil-Lyn sex allegations
Pledge: Edna Skeletor, centre, has vowed to stand by her man.

IN A moving speech last night, the wife of Eternia's most ruthless supervillain made a controversial pledge to stand by her embattled husband after a week of scandalous allegations regarding his extra-marital sex life.
Edna Skeletor, 58, vowed to stick with The Scourge of Grayskull "through thick or thin", and claimed that she would support him throughout the media frenzy.
"Bone is thicker than water," Mrs Skeletor told a group of reporters gathered on the lawn of their Snake Mountain home.
"This has been a trying time for all of us. But through it all, we will prevail, and I would like to make it clear that I intend to give my husband my full support in his future endeavours to rule Eternia."
The news broke late last week, when the Daily Star released pictures of the bony love-cheat in up to his pelvis with fellow Eternian sorcerer, Evil-lyn at their secret cave in the planet's seedy red-lantern district.
The paper also alleged to have unpublishable photos of "carnal activities involving Skeletor's staff weapon."
One evil insider, Beastman, who asked not to named, said: "We all knew something was going on at work. Skeletor and Evil-lyn would suddenly decide to put in a late shift just as the rest of us were clocking out.
"One time when Trap Jaw left his keys to the dungeon at work, and had to run back from the tavern to get them.
"When he got back, he was visibly shaken after he claimed to have heard Evil-lyn's metalic breast plate rattling off Skeletor's ribs in the broom cupboard, and she was getting off when Skeletor did his whole: 'Soon I will rule Eternia forever,' followed by one of them baddie laughs he always does."
Skeletor, 60, rose to fame in the early 1980s as the would-be dictator of the planet.
His initial attempts at fame proved unsuccessful. Born Cyril Partridge in 1944, Skeletor's parents were killed when their car colided with a Nazi U-boat in World War Two a year later, and he spent much of his youth giving bony handjobs to pay for his interpretive dance lessons.
He was sacked as an extra in an episode of Star Trek in 1968 after an he attempted to impress TV producers by working his evil magic during filming, an incident which caused William Shatner to soil himself on set.
Partridge met Edna whilst working as a cleaner in a branch of Happy Eater on the A14 in 1969. Just over a decade later, he chose the career path of world domination and moved to Eternia under the alias of Skeletor.
Pals of the skinless-skulled-one claim the affair with Evil-lyn was a one off, and that he is devoted to his wife Edna.
Mum-Ra, off Thundercats, the best man at the couple's wedding told The Spoof: "That Evil-lyn's a dirty bitch. It's the power she's after, she'll open her scabby legs for anyone even remotely famous. Me and Megatron played cards on her back when we spit-roasted her. She just loves baddies.
"She once did a bloke who had a big glowing sheet over his head just cause he had a one-off gig on Scooby Doo. Plus she swings both ways. I've got some great video of her with Zelda off Terrahawks."
The Skeletors claim they will be shying away from public life over the next few weeks, but it is widely believed that the pale-faced Prince of Darkness will be plotting his next attack on the Eternian populus.

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