In keeping with Palestinian marriage traditions and to promote a lasting peace in the Gaza Strip and West Bank, President George Bush has given Condolezza Rice, the president's Secretary of State to Crown Prince Hussein Ibn Talal, of Trans Jordan.
The President was beaming at this latest development as Bush called it "Thinking about the greater good of an Israeli and Palestinian peace." Though unaware of this development as Ms. Rice was not on the peace junket, when told by reporters of what the Prince called a United States dowry, Ms. Rice fainted.
When the President was asked by reporters about the fact that Ms. Rice is engaged Bush simply said, "I thought she was Mormon, and it doesn't matter because Condi is a team player, and I knew in my gut of guts I needed to be a decider and think outside the box. So, late last night I was deciding some stuff I knew desert princes and nomadic savages liked to have women and gold given to them."
One reporter asked when Ms. Rice would arrive in the Middle East, Bush said "Pretty quick, I am having her fedexed over on a big jet loaded with some armored humvees that General Petreus needs, so, when that big sucker lands Dana can jump off and start getting used to being called Mrs. Ibn Talal.
"You know this is a tough assignment for Condi, but by gosh I know she is just jumping up and down right now with excitement. What a way to serve your country and your President."
Bush later joked: "I don't know how she will like wearing a veil all the time, riding a camel to work, and having to be the Prince's servant, but I know Condi and she will do her best to become a third class citizen here in the beautiful Middle East."
Bush said he planned on having a going away dinner for Ms. Rice, and asked the White House chef to have a Texas style pig barbecue.
The President said "Everyone likes a good old barbecued hog, whether you live in Crawford or in a striped tent in the middle of the desert, whether you are a good Christian man or a heathen desert nomad, everyone enjoys a big, ole, fat hog."
Reminded that Muslims don't eat pork, the President replied: "Just goes to show you how stupid reporters are. Of course they eat pork except on the Sabbath. Don't you folks know the Arab saying about how it's okay to eat something if it's Kosher?"