Tokyo (World Confuse Bureau) - Japan today broke the bilateral non-aggression pact signed with America and declared war on its Pacific neighbour. The state television Sonytosh reported, "On this 15th day of the 1st month of 2008 A.D. at 15:15 hours , the Japanese Emperor His Highness Hikono Matushi The IVth authorised his government to declare war on the United States of America."
The Prime Minister of Japan, Kadoma Heishi, who was closeted with his war cabinet throughout the day, later informed the world press, "We're happy to be back to the pre-Pearl Harbour conditions of 1941. For more than 60 years now, we have lived a life of humiliation as poor cousins of the Yankees. We have imitated them in every walk of life and their porn-industry. The nation of Japan will fight till the last man to protect its own porn-empire. Long Live the King."
When asked about his reaction at the critical situation, US President George Bush said, "Oh the Jap dudes are too far away to attack us. You need to go back to your geography class and have a look at the map. They are on the completely opposite end to us."
On being reminded that the world is round, the President paused for 10 mins and on not hearing any applause he asked the reporters to 'chill out'. "I'd make Dick Cheney sort out the issue" he told, probably unaware that Dick is already down and out; neither of which is a pleasant scene in itself to look forward (or backward) to.