Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Friday, 11 January 2008

image for Tata's people's car, the Nano, powered by people. Literally, people
Tata's Nano may backfire. Actually increasing global demands for oil, not reduce it

New Delhi, India - Engineered to provide inexpensive transportation for just $2,500, getting 50 miles to the gallon and defuse India's population bomb, the Tata Nano is touted as the most affordable green machine on the planet.

Critics contend, however, that it is not all what it is cracked up to be. Charging, that despite its promises of providing affordable, fuel-efficient transportation to the cash strapped population of developing countries, it poses an unseen danger to the human race.

"It may not cost you an arm and a leg, just one to operate it," caution critics.

"It is expected to rid the planet of both sources of carbon emissions," said Ratan Tata, chairman of Tata Motors. "Exhaust fumes from car emissions and human beings who are responsible for producing carbon emissions."

Although the car was designed for short trips to the market, dropping off and picking up the kids to and from school or taking grandma and he friends to the park, the car picks up speed and increased mileage on long trips as the passenger list shortens along the way.

The Tata Nano comes with an EPA estimated MPG 50 miles per human being in the city, and 75 in the country, less for vegetarian passengers due to their reduced body fat to muscle tissue ratio.

"The longer the trip, the more efficient the vehicle and the more carbon emissions are reduced, of course," said Tata.

The Tata Nano owner's manual encourages offering rides to friends you have had a falling out with, co-workers you do not like or picking up stray hitchhikers on the roadside or at truck stops along the way to increase your fuel mileage on longer trips.

Another anticipated beneficial feature to the environment is that as the car grows in popularity, the population will be reduced, further reducing carbon emissions by cutting the number of people available to drive vehicles on the road in half.

The only drawback facing the manufacturer of the Tata Nano is the obvious built-in obsolesces of the car's tendency, like other higher carbon producing automobiles, is its ability to make the human race extinct.

"We are so obsessed, as the human race, with the automobile, it too will eventually lead to our demise," warn critics.

"Our computer models also confirm a direct correlation to the increased number of vehicle sold and declining consumer base available to actually purchase them," said Tata. "So have placed a sticker on the vehicle, warning operators to exercise sound judgment before taking the car out for a spin as it may end up coasting the life of someone they may actually care for."

The Tata Nano will be available next year and will come in white, black, brown, yellow, red and pink. All colors reflecting the human race used to power them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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