County Louse, Eire - (Ludiscrous Ass Mess): Newly elevated to the Louse Archbishoprick, Cardinal Fergus McShergar has lost no time in slamming US Senator Bollox Obama's Irish cousins' gerrymandering activities for the Kleptocrat Arrivistes Abroad organization.
McShergar told the lunchtime TV news that the O'Bama clan of County (sic) Louse were notorious for shifting the boundaries of postal voting schemes and manipulating electoral roles for personal pecuniary advantage.
"And Bollox Obama's no different.
"I've had me suspiscions about him a while now, for sure.
"Here we have a complete unknown parvenu sprung on the poor, trusting folks of Illinois.
"Three years a Senator, the man's become a rabid control freak like that monstrous gargoyle dyke Hillary Clitoris.
"The sheer ego of it all.
"Does he really think that NATO military intelligence hasn't got him down for a total tosser with aspirations way above a rudimentary ability to keep his flies from bursting open in public?
"He may be good enough for them ignoramuses of Illinois. But President of the White House? I don't think so.