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Topics: Guns

Sunday, 6 January 2008

image for World to Replace Guns with Lethal Injections

Geneva, Switzerland (IPP) - Representatives from groups who use guns to shoot people and animals all over the world have met in Geneva and have agreed to replace guns with hypodermic needles.

The groups include the military, police, murderers, and hunters. They have come to the conclusion that guns cause pain and a more humane way to take people out is through the use of lethal injection.

Police and soldiers in combat will now approach their target with a hypodermic needle and inject them with a lethal dose of chemicals. Hunters will do the same when bagging game.

One hunter says that it will present more of a challenge to stick a bear or a buffalo in the shoulder with a needle than to shoot him from the safety afforded by a 100 yard distance and this will be more satisfying to the hunter.

Criminals are in the agreement and some folks say this is evidence that the criminal mind may be evolving in a positive direction. One spokesman from the criminal group went as far as to suggest that criminals will offer their injection victims a tranquilizer before injecting them with a lethal dosage of chemicals.

A new group known as the National Needle Association has been formed and will soon begin a public relations campaign complete with television ads and advertisements in magazines.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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