Bogota - (AssoCIAted Mess): Russian Secret Service cocaine smugglers scuttled yet another of their Bloodyvostock-engineered Barrakuda-class submarines off Colombia's Pacific coast today blaming uneven freight distribution that caused the 8100 tonne craft to list badly at an angle of over 45 degrees to starboard.
The RS Crack Duchess, a sister vessel to the MV Crack Princess cargo ship that ran aground in the Dover Strait last week, had to be abandoned along with all its 20,000 tonnes freight a desperate fight to save it from destruction.
This is the twentieth Russian cocaine submersible in the last six months to falter off Colobia's treacherous coastal waters and has caused 'untold grief' according to Moscow press reports listing Russian New Year celebrations that begin on January 13th.
US Coastguards were quick to react to Colombian news agency claims that Miami-based bounty-hunters were already at the site on a salvage mission offering 25grammes per kilo recovered.
The Russian Interfux agency has reported a period of five days official mourning in the Russian city of St Petersburg following news of incident.