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Topics: X-Factor, kenya

Friday, 4 January 2008

image for X-Factor Rhydian Should Have Won Rigged Kenyan Election
It's not the winning that matters but the taking part

X Factor star Rhydian Roberts should have won the Kenyan presidential election by miles it was revealed today. Roberts has called for a re-run of the vote because he lost. The vote was obviously rigged and everyone in the democratic world agrees.

The 24-year-old from Powys, Wales, a classically-trained baritone vocalist wants the apparent winner, President Mwai Kibaki, to step down and a more elections should be held until Rhydian wins. And he's not just saying that out of sour grapes.

The fixed election resulted in over 300 deaths in Wales involving people who knew that Rhydian should have won.

More than 120 million people tuned in to see Rhydian lose, initial overnight figures suggest. That beats the audience for last year when 108 million watched elections in Iraq.

Shock defeat

Rhodri Morgan called the dubious result "a disaster for Rhydian and for Wales".

Bookmaker's Ladsbroke said it was "the biggest shock in the history of making loads and loads of money out of pisspoor tossers with nothing better to do."

Runner-up Rhydian took his loss on the chin, saying: "Some things are meant to be in life and I can't complain."

But several disappointed fans said they had been unable to cast their vote.

"I tried to vote hour after hour and all lines out of Wales were jammed," said R. Roberts from Welshpool. "It cost me £300 to keep hanging on. It's not fair, mind."

A spokeswoman said there had been "no problems" with the Kenyan election vote but some callers may have faced difficulty getting through due to little interest in counting Welsh votes.

Please note: the X-Factor and Kenyan election results are in no way related.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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