Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: Osama Bin Laden

Friday, 4 January 2008

Recent videos released by Al Qaida and Osama Bin Laden are designed to reassure the world that Bin Laden is alive, well and healthy. Experts agree that Bin Laden looks "slightly less emaciated" and "not quite as cadaverous" as he has in the past, proving to the world that he is as robust and energetic as he ever was.

An anti-terrorist analyst from MSNBC reiterated that chilling assertion. "In the past, Bin Laden looked like something out of "Dawn of the Dead," but lately he resembles a character out of "Night of the Living Dead" which everyone knows had much healthier looking zombies. Also, his blackened beard is a strong touch, letting the world know that the skeletal, illness ridden ghoul we see on the videos is ready for anything that comes his way.

"He is still a formidable force, flexing his bony, stick-like arms and speaking with that monotonous, lifeless intonation of a corpse."

Another member of the team added, "I hate to say it, but he's kind of a stud. A wasted, goblin-like stud whose every word seems to echo with a death rattle from his hollow, sunken chest, but a stud nonetheless."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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