Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Terrorism

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

image for Whoopee cushion landmine blast kills Somali colonel
The landmine was cunningly concealed in a whoopee cushion similar to this one

Mogadishu, Somalia - (Bad Ass Mess): The Al-Kebab terror group has claimed responsibility for the killing of a senior Somali colonel after planting a whoopee cushion landmine on his chair at work on New Year's Eve.

Col Furri Gaarlic and his minder died instantly when the 12"x12" cushion - disguised as a bona fide orthopaedic posture device - blew up in his orifice at government buildings in Mogadishu.

The incident happened early in the morning just as the Colonel was preparing for a counter-terror briefing.

Mogadishu's mayor Abu Fit-Up Sharki immediately condemned the atrocity:

"Col Furri was an exemplary officer and a real threat to the heinous Al-Kebab group of terrorists.

"The very idea of blowing him up with a whoopee cushion landmine is preposterous.

"All governmental orifices are being searched and all items of soft furnishings replaced with standard-issue wooden seats."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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