We all hear about our use of carbon based fuels and how they are apparently killing our planet but, according to global warming scare monger Al Gore, there is a bigger danger to us all. This danger comes from the sun and its bigger and bigger use of Hydrogen.
"If it continues to consume its Hydrogen at its current rate, it will eventually heat up to such an extent that the Earth will fry to a crisp," Gore said at the Bali climate change meeting. "The time to act is now for if we do nothing then we will all be doomed! DOOMED I tell you!" Gore also mentioned that it will be in its own interest to curb its use of H2.
"This tax will be for the sun's own benefit too. For if it is able to monitor its 'Hydrogen Footprint,' not only will it prevent the Earth warming up so much, but it will prolong its own life span as well. No one wants to see its progression to a red giant as fast as it is happening today. If it can cut back on hydrogen usage then we can all live on in our fluffily little fantasy worlds for a much longer period."
We asked Mr Gore on how he intended to enforce this tax. "Well it's easy," he said. "Anyone using solar energy or going for a sun tan or eating anything that grows through photosynthesis will have to pay extra for the privilege. Basically, if people stop enjoying all aspects of life all together, including the sun, then they might be able to live a bit longer - all be it more miserably."
"But surely you can't blame us for the sun it isn't our fault," we said.
At this point Mr Gore went glassy eyed and laughed in a disturbingly evil way, "It will be the same as the carbon tax, just another tax on all aspects of life - including, eventually, breathing itself. I mean how else can me and the rest of us one world government; globalist wannabe world wide mercantilism pushers impose our oppressive tyranny on you all?"
Mr Gore continued to look at us after saying this, like he had just said something he was supposed to keep secret. We didn't have a chance to ask any more questions as he then quickly ran out of the room, mumbling something about if we mentioned this we would all be pushing up daisies in a few days.