President George Bush has announced that Christmas has been cancelled this year, as he has just converted to Islam and doesn't like "those god damn Christians celebrating in my face".
Although the severely retarded President Bush only has the power to cancel Christmas in the United States, he is pushing the United Nations for a global cancellation of the feast. Many countries have already taken down their decorations and trees and have sent letters to Santa Claus asking him not to visit them on the night of Christmas Eve.
President Bush's sudden conversion to Islam has come as a surprise to many. It is thought that he was reading a picture-book version of the Koran and decided that he liked the idea. His advisers are said to have tried to dissuade him from the controversial change of religion, but without success. As Mr Bush is still President of the US for another year, Christmas 2008 has also been cancelled.